Monday, July 23, 2012

A few rants

So the boy is in Texas this week to check out his school and look for a job and apartment. Needless to say, I really miss the boy and am not happy that I won't see him until next week at the earliest, and with my schedule it probably won't be til late next week. This whole barely seeing each other thing is way worse than I thought. And it's only going to get worse after he moves. Also this weekend I realized that for some reason I am jealous of my brother and his girlfriend and I have no idea why.

Also I'm annoyed that I am not able to go to small group tonight. Every month we have these meetings at work, to kinda just do some housekeeping and let us know of things we need to be aware of that are coming up. Normally I am able to go to the afternoon meeting, but wasn't able to this month so I have to go to the evening one. I'm annoyed about it because small group is pretty much the one point of the week that I look forward to.

Somehow I was able to spend almost the entire weekend in my room except for a few hours a day. I think the worst part about it was my family didn't seem to care that I spent the whole weekend in my room watching one tree hill and playing lots of solitaire. I mean yeah I'm kinda anti-social sometimes (mostly because my friends don't live around here any more) but not for the whole weekend. It just makes me wish even more that I had the resources to move out and get a new start.

I'm trying to have a good attitude about all of this, but it's getting harder than I can handle. I feel like the few friends I have here are either moving away or in a totally different stage of life. I feel alone even in my own house. Small group at least lets me feel connected for an hour or two each week. I've been trying to be strong, but I'm running out of strength. I keep praying for it. If y'all could help pray I would greatly appreciate it.

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