Saturday, March 29, 2014

dear daddy

if you've known me for any amount of time, you know i am a huge daddy's girl. he's my hero, and today is his birthday!!! (in case you didn't know, i am also a huge lover of celebrating birthdays)

so where do i begin when talking about my dad? he's shown me what love is, not just to my family and to "easy" people, but also to those "difficult" people who all have in our lives. he's given me high standards for what i want in a man. he's a great leader, he's shared with me his love for God, of music, sports, and everything KU. he encourages me to go after my dreams, no matter what, and to always make myself a better person. we can have talks that go from dave my dad, to dave the health care professional (which can be awkward at times). he's taught me to have an open, and to help those in need. i enjoy when we get to talk medicine, and my mom says it's like listening to another language.

my daddy values family. he always made sure to come to every soccer game, basketball game, track meet, band concert, choir concert, and play that i was in or helped with.
us before sr prom

along with my "adopted" sister christina

he even got to "hand" me my diploma at graduation

he took care of his little 1 month old granddaughter (who is almost 5!)

and even would get on the floor and play with her.

he still visits his parents pretty regularly

and has deep conversations with his grandson. 

he's still a big kid at heart in my mind. 

he even spent one thanksgiving play risk with us (my first time playing)

he loves these grandkids.

it felt like a lot of my childhood was spent in lawrence at KU games, or at kauffman stadium watching the royals play. and he's still my game day buddy. every now and then we even catch a chiefs game. he even drives to iowa with me so i can run the dam to dam 5k in des moines with my aunt. 

we love us a good royals game

he's shared with us kids his love for music. every week he still gets the opportunity to do what he loves. 
at platte city's lighting ceremony around thanksgiving, playing in a little brass group

basically, i just have the best dad i could ever ask for. i'm so thankful that he's my dad. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

never leave me alone with my thoughts

so quite possibly one of the worst parts about watching someone else's animals is the complete lack of human contact. and remember, this is coming from a introvert who thoroughly enjoys time alone most times. my parents friends are out of town, so i'm watching their animals. it's been a challenge already at times, but we are halfway through. 

but here is something about me most people don't seem to know...i absolutely hate being alone when it's not my choice. plus, most of the time i feel like i don't really fit in, which i'm sure is somehow also related to the low self esteem i actually have. so all of this combined is a VERY bad thing. 

so i wind up spending a good chunk of my animal watching time alone, in someone else's house, basically hating my life, which leads to crying, which I also hate doing. i try talking to people, to see if anyone wants to even just get dinner as an excuse to leave, but most people are either busy or too far away. 

on another note, i'm thinking i need to let go of some "friendships". not sure of a good way to do that besides just deleting them from everything. 

basically, I could just really use some prayers for some strength and not letting my thoughts get to me.