Sunday, October 26, 2014

coffee date? sure!

let's have a coffee date. just to catch up. it's been a while since i've been on here. i've been busy with school (which thank goodness is almost over!) and work has been short handed, so i've been getting busier there more again. but let's take some time, grab coffee, and just chat.

1. i've been apartment and job searching. i found a place in liberty that i REALLY liked, but mom pointed out moving to liberty just to drive back every day would be a bad idea. i applied to a job at liberty hospital, and am working to set up a phone interview there. i'm excited and nervous about that. i like my job, but it's been so stressful lately, and i'm just getting burnt out on it. the stress and having people get mad at us for things that aren't our fault. i think i'm just ready for some new scenery. plus, i'm not anywhere in life where i thought i would be by now, and in some aspects i feel like a failure for that. it's been really hard on me lately. i even had a little melt down about it this afternoon

2. my heart has been conflicted for a while now. in all sorts of aspects. i've been wondering for a bit now if i'm at the right church for me, or if i'm even in the right small group. (sadly, i'm feeling this one is more of a "no you're not") i've been thinking and praying for a while about getting rebaptized, but i feel like i need to see more what is said about it.

3. i've been trying to get back into working out consistently and eating better, but it's been so hard for me lately. i do personal training with a girl from church, and she kicks my butt good every time we work out, but life has been getting in the way lately, and it's been a while since we've been able to get together. (if you are in the northland area and want a good trainer, i definitely recommend both of these girls) and with school and work, i feel like i don't have time at home to work out because i'm reading and doing homework more often. it's been a big struggle and i NEED to make it a bigger priority than it is at now. my pharmacist told me of a youtube channel called fitness blender, so i'm gonna have to try that out also.

4. i've been having "tattoo-fever" really bad recently. it's been about two and a half years since i got my last one, and i'm so ready for a new one, just don't have the money for it. i'll just have to live without a new one for now.

5. i'm so proud of the royals. this has been a great experience while in the playoffs. kansas city is a proud town to begin with, and seeing the city painted in royal blue is amazing! the guys seem to be having a great time while playing as well. i'm so excited for the game tonight, and can't wait for them to come back to kansas city and win it all!

6. yesterday i got to have another photo session with hilary. it was a blast and i'm so excited to see how they turn out! plus, she got to do a session with some distant cousins in the afternoon, and from what i hear, those are going to look amazing also. i always feel so awesome and confident when i spend time with her. she's a great friend and a super talented photographer. i'm so glad to have her as my friend and so thankful that she's willing to help me when i have photography questions.

well that's about all i got for this coffee date. i'm so glad we were able to catch up. what new and exciting things are going on in your life?

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

our relationship is now a hate/hate relationship

not my relationship with anybody, but my relationship with running. i used to at least semi-enjoy running. i may have hated myself as i was actually going on that run, but i liked how it made me feel after. i've never been good at running, but i tried to convince myself if i continued to run, i would eventually learn to love it. it's stayed at a tolerance.

but lately my tolerance for running has gone even lower. now, it's more like a down right hatred, especially when i have to run with other people. i have a horrible habit of comparing myself to other (in every aspect of life lately) and so lately, running has made me feel like a failure. i run with other people, and they are all faster than me and i'm always so much further behind, and i just hate it. and then i just don't want to run at all.

i feel really good about every other aspect of my workouts with sara and crystal, except the running. yeah, my cardio needs improvement. i've known that for a while. but there are so many things i would rather do than run now. i need to find a way to get back to the point where i did more than tolerate running. doe anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

on a side note, today was my last on my hospital internship, which makes me sad. i loved spending time there and it just made me want to work in a hospital even more.
also, i'm signed up to take my technician certification test in mid-november and kinda freaking out already. please pray i don't psych myself out for it and remember everything i have learned in class and work.