Thursday, December 20, 2012

infinity awesome points to my brother

so last night/this morning we got a bad snow storm here in the midwest. this means my driveway sucks a ton! and apparently i was the one person stupid enough to keep my doctor's appointment today. possibly because this is my only day that they are open for a while. so i have a sloped driveway, which in normal conditions isn't bad at all. but when it snows, and the snow is pretty packed at the bottom, plus having the plow throw more snow over, it can be hard to get up in the winter, especially in a small car.

so guess who gets stuck at the bottom of the driveway today? like couldn't go forward or back at all. full on stuck. thankfully for me, my brother was home. he helped me attempt to dig my car out. luckily for me, he knew what he was doing, or else i would still be out there having no idea what to do. he was able to help me dig out my car, and he was able to get it up the driveway. this is just more proof i have an awesome brother and an awesome family. needless to say, i am not going anywhere for the rest of the day unless i absolutely have to, or unless someone else is driving.

Saturday, December 15, 2012


the events that happened yesterday break my heart. there is no other way to put it. while i was at work, hanging out with 4 preschoolers/toddlers, half a country away so many kids were hearing gun shots, and some where seeing them, and dying from them. it breaks my heart to even think of a child getting hurt, let alone going to a safe place only to find out it's not so safe any more.

i don't get how anyone can hurt a child on purpose. children can't fight for themselves and defend themselves the same way adults can. these children went to school, a place where they are supposed to feel safe, and then this man comes in with guns and hurts them and kills them. it makes absolutely no sense to me. i can't fathom how that community feels, and how those families feel.

i pray for all of the response teams that were there. those people have such a great strength to do a job that i know i could never do. they are willing to run into building, not knowing if there is going to be gun shots, or if the person is even there still. i cant imagine what it was like for those who had to tell parents about their child won't be coming home with them. i can't imagine having to tell someone their child went to school, and got shot, or went to school and died. it makes me cry thinking about it.

i pray for the family of this young man. he obviously had something wrong, and i in no way blame the family for that. i pray that they are not judged or condemned for the acts of their brother/son/grandson/nephew/whoever. people usually seem to forget that the family of the shooter has also lost a loved one, and in this case two loved ones. it's a pain i choose not to think about right now. they need prayers just as much as everyone else.

i can't fathom what brought him to do this horrible act. i can't fathom why he would shoot multiple children, multiple times. i don't have kids. i'm no where near that point in life. but i love the kids i watch at work, and God has given me a heart for kids. acts like this break my heart right now. i can't imagine what it would be like if i did have kids. i pray for the whole community of newtown, ct. i pray for the parents, families, responders, teachers, staff, everyone involved. i pray for america.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

dresses for sale!

so, i have like 7 dresses that i am looking to get rid of. they are on ebay, but i will post them here and see if any of you lovely ladies want them for a better price. and if you think they are over priced, let me know and we can work something out. they are all in good condition, a few have only been worn once or twice. (i'm not the biggest dress girl)

1. black and white floral dress from dressbarn - size 12 - $20-30

2. red dress with black trim from ruby rox - size 11 - $20-30

3. black sequin dress from cdc clothing - size 12 - $10-15

4. blue and white striped dress from merona - size 12 - $25-30

5. cornflower blue bridesmaide dress from david's bridal - size 14 - $50-75 

6. pink and chocolate bridesmaid dress from forever yours - size 10 - $50-75

7. pink and white a-line prom dress from jump apparel - size 15/16 - $25-35 

if you are interested, or know someone who might be, email me.

holy cow

my birthday is in less than a month. i'm a huge fan of birthdays, and would normally have a countdown started a few months ago. but for some reason that didn't happen this year. i didn't even realize this until last night when i was getting some kids' city stuff from our director. (i had mentioned i'm a 22 year old with no life, and that's when it hit me i can only say 22 for another month) i'm still super excited for my birthday, but for some reason 23 sounds like a lot for me.

i never really do anything for my birthday, just because we didn't really do parties growing up. i do, however, always go to applebee's for dinner and have them sing happy birthday to me. for my 21 birthday my mom took my best friend and i ice skating at crown center and then we convinced her to go into the crayola store, and we got giant coloring pages. it was pretty rad.

i may try to get together with my small group and do something. not sure yet though. i really need to get planning on this. if y'all have any ideas, throw them my way. hope y'all have a great sunday!

Friday, November 30, 2012

if you really knew me... would know i love jigsaw puzzles. i can sit and do them for hours. they relax me and suck me in. i had some teachers in middle school and high school who had them in the back of their room, and we could work on them when we were done with our work. now i do them way more often. (i'm working on one right now i got from my grandma's house. it's almost done. i've only worked on it for a few days with a little bit of help from my mom) would know i have trust issues. just ask my best friend. it's really hard for me to trust people. a good way to find out i trust you is if i cry in front of you. (usually winds up taking a few years) it took about 3 and a half years for me to trust my best friend completely. but now i have no idea what i would do without her. would know it took my 19+ years to like reading. i never liked it growing up, but then i had to figure out how to fill a 13 hour car ride to austin when my sweet niece was born. would know i'm still not totally sure of what i want to be when i grow up. i'm going to school to be a pharmacy technician, and i'm trying to do photography on the side. but sometimes i'm not sure if i'm going to school for the right thing. i'm scared of being in a job that i don't love. right now i'm in a job that isn't my favorite, but the people i work with make it okay. would know i have struggled with my weight my whole life. i still remember my brother calling me fat when i was in 5th grade. i cried. a lot. i knew i wasn't the skinniest person, but i didn't think i was fat. and it has carried on ever since. i try to run and work out, and watch what i eat, but it has still been a huge struggle for me, and i still weigh a lot more than i would like, and i'm working at it. would know i am hard on myself. i have these expectations in my mind of what should be going on right now, and it's not like how it's turning out, and then i get hard and down on myself. i think it's because growing up, people expected me to do the same things as my brothers, but i wasn't nearly as good as they were (simple fact) but i took it personally. would know i have a special place in my heart for coca-cola and neopolatan ice cream. my great grandma always had a 12-pack of coke and a box of neopolatan ice cream in her kitchen every time we went to her house, no matter what. they bring back good memories, and i'm quite a lover of them both now. would know when i was little i wanted to change my name. i didn't like being named emily because everyone else had the same name. (i graduated with 2 other emily's) i never really had a new name picked out, but i wanted to not be named emily. i love my name, and i saw it's not even in the top 10 for 2012. kinda crazy.

might do another one of these again later. but here's a bit more of me for now. 

Saturday, November 24, 2012


thursday was a great thanksgiving for me. we went to my dad's parents and spent the day up there. it was us, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, and my other uncle and aunt and their son. it was fun looking at old pictures from when grandpa was in the navy and my dad was a baby. my other uncle got to spend the holiday in hawaii, but he called in and talked. we had perfect weather and got to go to the park down the road. my cousin is 4, so he enjoyed racing down the slides. of course i had my camera with me and took some pictures of our little man having fun.

he was making funny faces while he talked to angie.

grandpa plays trumpet, and it's kind of a rite of passage for the grandkids and great grandkids to get to blow in the trumpet. 

my aunt and cousin. (this is the aunt everyone thought i belonged to growing up. we look crazy alike)

first of the slide races

mother and son

me and him. 

my parents and one of my brothers. 

greg doing down the slide

julie and goph. love this picture of them.
grandpa still helps put shoes on. =]

i know i have been blessed to live relatively close to the majority of my family. holidays have always been filled with family. almost never have they been lonely or small. sure there are some family members who couldn't make it, but they had their reasons, but i still am able to see them and keep in touch with them throughout the year.

i am also blessed by my friends. the majority of them live far away from me, but thanks to technology, i am able to stay in contact with them regularly. my friend from michigan even sends me snail mail, which i love! (i'm all up for bringing back snail mail, so if you ever want a hand written letter, or maybe a colored picture haha,  just let me know) i have a small, core group of friends that i can talk to about anything.

the two best friends a girl could have. 

i am blessed by my small group as well. this awesome group of ladies have been in my life for a few years now. i've seen it change so much, but i wouldn't change it for anything. i have got more awesome friendships through this group, and it's great that they are in a location where i can still get coffee or dinner with them fairly easily, depending on schedules. they have become best friends, and i love being able to just hang out in ashley's living room for a few hours every week.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

some ramblings and goal sharing

i am so horrible at keeping up with this blog. so sorry about that. finals was this week, and so now i am done with school for the rest of the week, and start up again in the beginning december. i am so ready for this little break. maybe then i can get back into a consistent workout and running schedule and keep with it when i start up again. sadly, school makes it harder for me to work out consistently, since my grades are a top priority and every teacher thinks their class is the only one i'm in. i am so ready to be done with school totally. homework is killing me. plus it's getting kind of discouraging. i feel like i've been in school forever and wasted so much time trying to figure out what i wanted. i want to be done just so i can get a break from it and focus on other aspects of life, like cleaning the tornado zone that is my room. (it's really bad, like i want to torch it and/or just throw everything away and start from scratch with it all) my stress level is like 3 feet above my head and i'm not totally sure how to handle it.

i talked with my friend today, and i will be doing her engagement pictures around christmas time instead of this week. so excited for it! she said i can use some of the good ones for a portfolio. i'm looking forward to start this journey. i'm trying to start doing it as a side business, so if you know anyone in the north kansas city area, send them my way if they are looking for pictures. i am so thankful for the help my sweet friend hilary gave me. and i'm hoping i can continue to learn from her and maybe work with her on some things. love her and so blessed that she took the time to mentor me. (plus thursday i got to babysit her sweet son while she edited some photos, so i enjoyed peeking over her shoulder for some of those.)

i have talked with my friend rose, who does training from her house, and i will hopefully start doing personal training with her again soon. i love her and love working with her. i so badly need to get back onto a set schedule with it, and i know it would be easier if i have someone keeping me accountable (and coughing up some money for training is good incentive to keep up with it as well) my goal is to be 150 pounds by june for my best friends wedding. i know it's possible, and i know it won't be easy, so having her to confide in with help. my other goal right now is to run a 5k in under 44 minutes. last year my goal was under 45 minutes, and my best time was 44:57, so i need to cut at least one minute off of that. again, i know i can do it, and again i have til june to do it. (i have to choose between the color run or the dam to dam since they are both on june 1)

mom's side of the family came up last weekend, the 10th, and so i got to take some pictures of my cousin's sweet little boy.
i mean how cute is he?! love him so much
and her sister is pregnant with her first child. they are going to have a little girl, so we had a little contest for a middle name, but they didn't decide on one that day. 
isn't she so cute pregnant? and they are such a fun couple, i can't wait to see them with their baby girl. 
just couldn't get enough of him.

momma and son, and my brother in the back.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

a part of what's on my heart

so this weekend was a great break from life. dad and i went to waco for the ku v baylor football game. i love football, and love my jayhawks, even if they aren't doing that great. i have to admit, baylor has a really good band. after the game, we continued to austin and spent the weekend with my brother and his family. found out they are probably moving to cupertino soon. on our way home, we stopped in arlington to see cowboys stadium and rangers ballpark. my love for football is possibly only exceeded by my love for baseball. i was soooooo stoked to see rangers ballpark! hopefully sometime this next season i can make it to a game down there.

i come home and finished getting some mentoring from my dear friend hilary. it was such a blast having her help me with some photography tips and pointers. i love the photos she takes, and i feel blessed that she was willing to take the time out of her schedule to help me out and let me spend time with her and learn from her. love her. (plus i got to hang out with her precious son as well!)

i mean how cute is this child?!

but then i got a text from my best friend/sister that makes my heart heavy. her aunt who lives down here  (who has been fighting stage 4 cancer) had a stroke, and that resulted in some brain bleeding. the doctors gave her a few days at most. felicia and her family are at the hospital right now. it breaks my heart to know my best friend and her family are aching. (i've never met her aunt, but even as i write this, and talked to my small group about it all, it makes me cry) i want to be able to do something for her, i just don't know what i can do. it's been hard on me to be so far away from her during all of this. her fiance sent me a text today that helped a bit.
he is a great man and i'm so glad him and feesh are together. they are two of my dearest friends and i'm blessed to know them. 
if you could have them in your prayers, it would be very appreciated.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

girl behind the blog number 4

so i missed doing this last month, but i'm so excited to be doing it again. sorry it's really random. i recorded it late at night after a long day. so please excuse the awkwardness. hope ya'll enjoy. and have a happy halloween tonight dears!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

sitting in the dark

and not because of hurricane sandy. i'll be very surprised if she makes it to kansas city. tonight for who knows how long, i just sat on my dining room floor in the dark, looking out the window at the moon. the only light was the reflection of the moon and my pumpkin. (i carved one for the first time in ages) it was nice to just be able to sit there and think. about nothing in particular. just thinking and talking to God. very rarely do i take the time to sit and be still in silence and dark anymore.

it used to be a nightly thing for me to go outside during the summer, lay in the grass, look at the stars and talk to God about my day and the issues i saw. but i'm a pansy in the cold, so it would stop sometime in the fall when i decided it was too cold. then my summer nights got busy with school and work and small group, and i didn't want to be the weirdo who lays in their yard at 1 am and is completely sober. so i stopped going outside. i still talk to God about my day, and issues i have or my friends have, or the world has. i write in my journal. i recently even started writing down my prayers. but even then, i can still get distracted.

sunday, my church had their family fun night at red barn farm. it is a great place with lots of great memories for me. (we went on field trips there a lot in elementary school, and i even milked a cow there) the scenery is amazing (what else would you expect from a farm) and i love being able to forget about the city for a while. (i just sang piano man "and forget about life for a while" great song)

how is this not fantastic

looking at the barn from the top of the hill

i have an odd thing for windmills. 

but even in this amazing and tranquil scenery, it was easy to get distracted. 

there were things to do, (grace and her sweet son as they were coming in)

kids to keep an eye on, (little man checking out the goats)
animals to see, (o.e., the one eared horse)
food to eat, 
(shelley and her pumpkin)
(bubba checking out his pumpkin)
(big bubba finding the perfect face to put on)
pumpkins to decorate, 

s'mores to make, marshmallows to torch for said s'mores (yes i catch my marshmallows are fire and let them burn for a bit. i'm too impatient for the fire to slowly toast them)
with so much to do, it was difficult to find time to slow down and take in the amazing picture God painted. i can look back at the pictures, and i can even go back whenever i have the time to, but it's not the same as taking the time then and there, with the crazy kids all around me, and just soak it in. 
why is it so difficult to do things like that in today's society?

on another note, i'm super excited tomorrow is halloween! sunday, i got a pumpkin from the red barn farm, and so last night i gutted it and chose my design to carve, and this afternoon i carved my dalek pumpkin. if you follow me on istagram, you've seen basically the whole process. this is the first time i've carved a pumpkin since high school, so the fact that it turned out as nice as it did is a huge deal to me. i love doctor who, and thought a dalek would be more fitting for me to do than an owl. plus the daleks are my favorite enemy of the doctor. (i'm not sure why, but they are)

so i forgot how think a pumpkins skin is, and it took forever to even get the top off. 
got it. 

so actually pulling the guts out is one of my favorite parts of carving a pumpkin. 

i really wanted to roast the seeds, but mom said to throw them out instead

my dalek all traced on there. 
i kinda chose the grody side of the pumpkin. not sure why
all lit up tonight
the moon was really bright

my view tonight. 

so i talked to my friend hilary today. on thursday and tuesday she is going to be mentoring me in photography. i even get to do a photo shoot with her adorable baby son. i'm so excited for this! she's a great woman and friend, and i'm so stoked to have her mentor me. she even told me i will be the first person she is doing this for, which makes it all the more exciting! such a blessing to know her and be able to do this with her. and this will definitely come in handy when i do my friends engagement pictures.