Saturday, September 29, 2012

13. how you feel about your body

so i know i haven't done this in a while (i'll try to get back into it more consistently), and it's partly because life has become crazy with school and partly because this post in particular is really hard for me to write. there are certain aspects of my body that i love, and certain aspects that i hate.

like i love my eyes. they are my favorite part of my body. i love playing with my makeup and finding way to make them stand out more. i know people say that glasses tend to hide your eyes, but i love wearing my glasses. i've been wearing them way more lately, and thankfully people tell me they look cute. (yesterday my coworker said they made me look like harry potter, but in a good way.) i also love my hair. i killed it last summer (i went blonde for a bit) and it's taken forever for it to get healthy again. now it looks good, and feels good, and is growing out again! you have no idea how big a deal this is for me. for the most part i also like my legs. i'm a legs person, so i try to keep them in good shape (along with the rest of my body but that's another story). i don't get how people can have these huge upper bodies but have chicken legs. growing up my dad called me chicken legs, cuz they were really skinny, so now i work on legs all the time.

but i hate the stretch marks that cover the insides of my thighs. this is the first time i've just straight up told the internet about them. my close friends know i have them and know how horribly uncomfortable and self conscious they make me. and it's taking a lot of control to not just delete all of that. i also have my moments when i don't like the size of my stomach. i know it's bigger than it should be, and it's been a big struggle for me my entire life. i try so hard to get rid of it or shrink it, but it doesn't seem to work. i at least am pretty good at not going to food when i am uncomfortable, and watching what i eat. i also hate my acne. i look like a prepubescent girl when i don't take my meds for it. but since it's mostly a hormonal thing, there's not much i can do about it.

for the most part i'm fairly comfortable about my body, except for a few things here and there. i'm trying to take care of my body and keep it healthy. theres still a lot i need to do to get to a good place, and i'm working to get there. i know there are days that i struggle horribly with it, and i'm thankful that on days like that i can always talk to felicia about it.


Anonymous said...

Hey Emily,
If I just posted a comment right before this one, feel free to delete this one! I had some technical issues...
I just found your blog through facebook. I just wanted to say that you're beautiful! We all have this ideal image in our minds of what we'd be like in a perfect world. But - we're often comparing ourselves to a standard that's just not real! Way to go that you're working to take care of your body. May God continue to draw you ever closer to HIm. As He does, may you feel the freedom and joy of being absolutely delighted in just the way you are, by the One who created you that way. Thanks for sharing so honestly with us all. Love you!
Stacey Williams

Emily H. said...

aww thanks stacey! thank you so much for your encouragement. i'm praying for you guys.