Saturday, February 2, 2013

i've been failing... what feels like a lot of things. i've been super busy and stressed trying to balance work, school, starting a new job, church/quiet time, and family. it's been soo hard and exhausting. but sadly, it's staying this way for a while =/ it feels like, at least for a while, trying to get back into shape is totally out of the question even though i've already paid for a month of training

so i'm still at the y, and feel like i am there all the time. i also got hired on at cvs about a month ago to work as a pharmacy technician. i have been trying to get through all of the trainings, and then thursday i had my first shift for on the job training. i need to talk with a lady there and figure out what my schedule is going to be for the month of february. one of my friends/coworkers at the y told me she thinks i'm going to be killing myself this month. i basically already started that process in january. i'm not sure how long i will be able to do this, but i'm pretty sure i will crash and burn a lot sooner than i think i will. i'm super excited to see where this new job takes me, but i'm praying i don't have any anxiety attacks while i'm doing both. thankfully i haven't had one in a few years

school isn't going so great either. my on campus class is going fine. it's pharmacy calculations, and it's pretty basic math and concepts i've kind of already been introduced to. but english is killing me. i'm taking it online, which was mistake number one but they push online classes at this school. and then i was talking with one of the girls in my pharm calc class, and she said a lot of people fail it online. this would have been great news to know before i agreed to this class and paid for it. certain i will have to take it again and will be sure to take it on campus instead. then next month we switch classes and i will have another online class, that i have heard is passable online, and an on campus class, but at the campus that is about an hour away. trying not to think that far into the future yet.

my friend and i are apprenticing to be co-leaders for small group and this month we are slowly starting to take some of the responsibilities. this wednesday, i will be saying the closing prayer. i get nervous when i have to pray out loud, so i am praying it goes smoothly. we have these meetings each week with our current leader who is moving to georgia in june to help us get ready to be leading. but with all this chaos of trying to figure out a schedule, i'm making it difficult for us to find time to have these meetings. thankfully they have both been very understanding with me.

this is kind of how i've been feeling lately. 

this year has been exhausting already. i'm kind of just waiting for the worst to happen to me right now. i'm praying to have some peace, but i'm not good at giving up control, and i have a fear of not knowing how things will be. i would greatly appreciate some prayers in all of these aspects if you are willing. feel free to let me know if there is anything you need prayer for. love ya'll.

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