Wednesday, October 8, 2014

our relationship is now a hate/hate relationship

not my relationship with anybody, but my relationship with running. i used to at least semi-enjoy running. i may have hated myself as i was actually going on that run, but i liked how it made me feel after. i've never been good at running, but i tried to convince myself if i continued to run, i would eventually learn to love it. it's stayed at a tolerance.

but lately my tolerance for running has gone even lower. now, it's more like a down right hatred, especially when i have to run with other people. i have a horrible habit of comparing myself to other (in every aspect of life lately) and so lately, running has made me feel like a failure. i run with other people, and they are all faster than me and i'm always so much further behind, and i just hate it. and then i just don't want to run at all.

i feel really good about every other aspect of my workouts with sara and crystal, except the running. yeah, my cardio needs improvement. i've known that for a while. but there are so many things i would rather do than run now. i need to find a way to get back to the point where i did more than tolerate running. doe anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

on a side note, today was my last on my hospital internship, which makes me sad. i loved spending time there and it just made me want to work in a hospital even more.
also, i'm signed up to take my technician certification test in mid-november and kinda freaking out already. please pray i don't psych myself out for it and remember everything i have learned in class and work.

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