never leave me alone with my thoughts

so quite possibly one of the worst parts about watching someone else's animals is the complete lack of human contact. and remember, this is coming from a introvert who thoroughly enjoys time alone most times. my parents friends are out of town, so i'm watching their animals. it's been a challenge already at times, but we are halfway through. 

but here is something about me most people don't seem to know...i absolutely hate being alone when it's not my choice. plus, most of the time i feel like i don't really fit in, which i'm sure is somehow also related to the low self esteem i actually have. so all of this combined is a VERY bad thing. 

so i wind up spending a good chunk of my animal watching time alone, in someone else's house, basically hating my life, which leads to crying, which I also hate doing. i try talking to people, to see if anyone wants to even just get dinner as an excuse to leave, but most people are either busy or too far away. 

on another note, i'm thinking i need to let go of some "friendships". not sure of a good way to do that besides just deleting them from everything. 

basically, I could just really use some prayers for some strength and not letting my thoughts get to me.