20 facts

holy cow it's been a long time since i've been over here! sorry =[ if anyone cares, my ankle has been doing better. the dr said i can just do pt stuff on my own and check back with her in about 6 weeks. i just really want to be able to run again.

anywho. my friend erin over at sweetnessitself.com posted 20 facts about herself. and i figured why not join in.

1. i love my job but sometimes feel like it's not what i'm meant to do.
2. i would love to start my own photography business as soon as possible. (or work full time as a photographer)
3. my brother is my best male friend
4. a lot of my friends live far away, and it kinda sucks a lot.
5. i want to have lots of land so i can have a few horses.
6. i love my sweet cat. i would love to have another one again to keep her company.
7. one of my favorite places to be in the summer is kauffman stadium.
8. my other favorite summer place is camp.
9. i got baptized in the creek at camp, and it's a great quick story to tell.
10. i tend to always spell recieve wrong, but almost never correct it.
11. i love babysitting my friends kids, but i'm not sure if i want some of my own.
12. i'm a night owl and really hate mornings, especially when i have to use an alarm clock.
13. sunday is usually the only day i wear make up.
14. i get really nervous at the thought of praying out loud or singing in front of people.
15. i'm super awkward around guys i don't know.
16. small talk does not come easily to me. it's actually something i dread, and then i feel like i come off as rude, which makes me feel bad.
17. baseball is my favorite sport to watch, closely followed by football and soccer.
18. i played soccer when i was little, and really miss it at times.
19. i really miss running. i haven't been able to run since june 29 and it's been killing me.
20. it's hard for me to think of 20 random facts about myself. this possibly took longer than it should have haha.

praise

so if you follow me on instagram, you have probably seen more pictures of my ankle in the last week than you ever wish to see again in your life. and i apologize for that, but that's been my concern for that last week and a half. back story is i was getting ready for class last monday and my ankle rolled on the bottom step (unless you work with me and go with the story i fell off a table dancing). a lot of cussing went on (painful accidents are on of the few things that make me cuss a lot) and i continued to my car to get everything loaded up for class. in the 30 or less seconds it took to get to my car, my ankle was HUGE! (my brother said it was like an orange on my ankle) so monday i missed class and my parents took me to the urgency room, got a few x-rays done, got a boot and crutches and came home. he couldn't tell for sure if it was a fracture or severe sprain and wanted me to see an orthopedic dr. (my friends moved a bit too early, i could have used his help for this part)

so i split my shift with a coworker for tuesday, and tried to stay off of it as much as i could for the past week and a half. and i'm super self conscious to begin with, so i dreaded wearing the boot. sunday at church i had to relive it what felt like 80 million times retelling it to everyone. (plus it was already in pain and i came home from church crying) luckily at work i was able to spend most of the time in the chair making phone calls. monday i finally got the chance to make an appointment with an orthopedic dr (i was wanting to see how the weekend went)

so yesterday was my appointment and i was a bit of a nervous wreck tuesday and wednesday. i prayed it wasn't going to be anything severe, along with asking others to pray for me as well. and boy did those prayers work! she took a few more x-rays of my ankle to see if anything new popped up. and did some quick tests in the room, and confirmed it was just a really bad sprain! i don't think i've ever been so happy to hear i sprained my ankle in my whole life. like for real almost cried tears of joy. AND she told me i could ditch the boot and just wear my brace!! (because i'm an awesome klutz and did the exact same thing last year, just not as bad) and wants me to start so pt for about a month and then go back and see how it's doing. i am just so thankful for everyone's support and so thankful it's nothing more serious. she said i need to do pt and work on strengthening it so it doesn't keep happening.

so grateful i was worked up for nothing and that it should be taken care of fairly easily. and no more ankle photos on instagram! (unless it happens again and is super huge again) hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of july!

discouraged.

i feel like i've been having one of those days, except it's been going off and on for i don't even know how long. i feel like more often than not lately i've been in this weird mood where i don't feel connected to anyone. i've always felt kind of like i didn't belong in my family, and i think i know some of those underlying issues, but that's a different story. if you follow me on instagram you have possibly seen my note about how i don't feel like i know anything about my brothers.

and having my best friends far away doesn't help me at all. i have friends here, but i usually only get to see them once a week at small group, or twice at church if i'm lucky, or not at all.

i'm also feeling overwhelmed, with practically everything. i can barely stay on top of my homework for school. i haven't even been able to read anything for small group on thursday, which is a problem since i'm the leader. my hours at work have been up and down, and this is an up week, which is good, except i have less time to try to get stuff done. this mary kay and photography is seeming a flop so far.

basically this has all led to me being extremely discouraged and i don't know what to do. aside from writing things (which at times makes me feel like a coward) i don't know how to express these things/feelings to anyone. i've been crying a lot more lately than i feel like i normally do. it's a really annoying part of my personality that so many times i have wished i could change, but i know i can't.

and i have been praying about it, and would really appreciate more prayers. and sorry if this sounded like a pity party, that is never my intention.

whirlwind

these past few weeks have become a bit of a blur. i did my second 5k of the year with my aunt (and beat my time from last year), i started classes again, and i got to be a part of my best friend marrying her best friend.

dam to dam
june 1 was the dam to dam. this was the second year i did it with my aunt. i had a blast with it, and it was for real the perfect day for running. my dad went up with me again, i love getting to spend time with him. julie and i ran, and each beat our times from last year. i took a minute and ten seconds off of my time, so this year it was 43:57. i was quite proud of myself for that. i still have another 5k left, and hopefully i can continue to improve.

school
classes started again june 3. it's hard to be motivated sometimes, i just want to be done so badly. i'm still driving to independence every week, which sucks on the gas. and then i have a class in zona, so much closer. neither of these classes are super interesting so far, but they are core classes. praying i can survive.

wedding
so this weekend was a whirlwind. my beautiful best friend married her best friend. i flew to michigan june 6 with my mom, which was great because we got there just in time for her bachelorette party. friday was a nice day of just getting the hall decorated, getting nails done, rehearsing, and just getting to hang out with everyone. (which for me meant meeting everyone except feesh and jay) i feel so blessed that she asked me to be a part of the day for her. the wedding was beautiful, and very "them". the reception was a blast. pretty sure the bridesmaids cried more than she did. i wish i could have spent more quality time with everyone there, but i thoroughly enjoyed my time in michigan with everyone.

home
after we got home, joel had talked about going to a small group that meets on sunday nights (since that's the only evening he's able to go to one) i tried getting him to actually go with me sunday night instead of just talk about it, but i was the only one who went. (still enjoyed my time there) hoping i can get him to go next week. on the drive home i had a tiny breakdown though, just thinking about friends leaving and moving to the next stages of life, and me feeling left behind. and feeling pressure to lead my own small group as well as ashley did. i know it's pressure i'm just putting on myself, but it's still there.

how have y'al been lately?

1 down, 2 to go

wow it's been a while =/ life has been kinda crazy. school is done for like a week and a half (the joys of going all year round), i've been working a lot at cvs (still enjoying it) and this is my last month on the schedule at the y for a bit (will be going to a sub list) along with trying to figure out how to be a leader for small group, which starts in second week of june. the weekend of may 31-june 1or2 i will be in iowa for my second year doing the dam to dam in des moines with my aunt. i'm pretty stoked for it, also just for the family time. then june 6-9 i will be in michigan to see my best friend and be a part of her wedding. can't believe she's getting married! so happy for them, and they recently graduated from gvsu and very proud of them for that.

as some of you may know, i've been working towards getting healthier by running/working out more and control my eating. running has been my main focus lately. this past saturday some friends and i ran the chiefs 5k. (my first one of the year, 2 more to go) it was a blast! we ran around the parking lots around arrowhead, and got to finish by running through the same hall the players run through, onto the field, and go to finish on the 50 yard line, with casey wolf (yes i got my picture with him =]) and some of the cheerleaders there. i was in heaven haha. after the race they let us go in and see the locker room. one of the guys we went with dressed up as leon sandcastle, and the chiefs even had a locker in there for him with some gear in it.

our group

their seats. 

kathy and i headed into the locker room

we were good at one point. 

love his name. and gotta show love to the kicker. 

so they had the arrowhead blocked of so it doesn't get dirty with the thousands of people that were there. the players don't even walk/step on it when they are in there. 

leon and his locker

game day schedule

another great thing was friday as we went to get our packets, we went to bd's mongolian for dinner (delish) and when we walked out we got to see the wiener mobile!!!!! and then it was in platte city sunday when mom and i went to the grocery store. 

all the adults became little kids again. it was great!