Wednesday, May 7, 2014

torn heart

lately i've felt like my heart has been torn between different job/career choices. i'm currently working as a pharmacy technician and going to school to get an associates degree for it. but lately i have toyed with the idea of nursing. it's always been my plan b, and i've been wondering if i need to make it my plan a. i've thought about the idea of nursing before, it's just always been in the back of my mind. but when i actually look at what is required, i wonder if i'm cut out for it. i wonder if i'm truly capable of doing all of this without being a miserable failure.

a while ago, my church had announced they wanted to start a campus in platte city. i've thought this was a great idea (although i'll have to figure out my sunday starbucks routine) and i'm super excited for it to actually happen. right now, we are waiting for someone to step up as pastor before it can go any further. but i have thought about applying for the kids' city director whenever we get to that point. i talked with my current kids' city director about it today, and she was so encouraging for it. (actually about both of these choices) the steps to take for now would be find someone for me to apprentice as service coordinator, and i would become like an intern for lindsey. 

i've been in conflict for a while now about these choices. i have a heart for kiddo's, and think i could do good at kids' city director. i know it would be a lot of work, but i think if i had the awesome leadership of lindsey, erica, and erica, the current kids' city directors for our 3 campuses, i could do it.  and i love being able to help people, and i feel like if i don't let doubt creep in, i could do the work and get through it. i have friends going to nursing school, and i see how hard they work, but they all say it's worth it. 

i know i still need to have conversations with other people, and definitely with God before i make any decisions. prayers and conversations are very welcome!